


Lita and Cae || Crime and Crayons

by xNoLights



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Crime Drama, F/M, Healing, Heartbreak, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Partners to friends to lovers, Working Mom, face palm moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 06:44:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12929721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xNoLights/pseuds/xNoLights
Summary: Just a Turian x Human fic...Crime drama based. with lots of comedy and other stuff...IDFK you all know i'm bad at summaries and titles!The show, "The mysteries of Laura" gave me the ideas and the want... and I'm a creator of Hunky turians...





	1. Chapter 1

              Digitigrade toes silently padded around the new desk that their owner had been assigned. The large turian male circled the desks that were facing each other before he stopped at looked at the desk of his new partner. A Human woman that he had yet to meet yet. From what he knew so far, she was one of the best damned detectives to date. However, it was what he was gleaning from the items on her chaotic desk that were intriguing him the most.  
                She had a few small frames of herself and two young humans. The woman he was paired with couldn’t have been older than thirty, maybe around his own age of thirty-two? She possessed pale flesh that was surprisingly warm, her hair was wild and thick looking, the shade of chocolate. Her eyes were a surprisingly vibrant shade of green…  
                His throat rumbled in appreciation at her looks, however it went no further than that. He himself was still nursing a broken heart that was very tender from the heartbreak it had just felt. He’d caught his Fiancée of two years in bed with his brother of all people. For some reason even after the discovery, his whole family had been shocked that he’s signed up to come to Earth in the good faith exchange.   
                Humming to himself, a talon came down and he pressed a button on the keyboard of his partner’s computer and looked at her screensaver. A Picture of the two younger humans that looked astonishingly like her. The elder of the two holding the smaller and both smiling widely for the camera. He smiled softly, either his new partner was a very fond sister… or she was a mother.

                “No, Alice I can’t deal with this right now!” cried a woman as she walked into the doors of the precinct wearing a pair of very baggy jeans and a holey tee-shirt under a sweater. Her long hair looked like it had yet to be brushed, and she was holding a toothbrush in her right hand while the left was holding her omni-tool to her ear.   
                “You’re my sister, and I love you dearly, But Please…” she nearly sobbed, “Just watch the girls today, I’ll give James a call later and ask why he bailed on picking up the girls, but I really have to get back to work. I love you and I owe you!” she cried before making suction noises with her lips and hanging up the call.   
                The woman then stopped mid step and staggered as she looked at the Large turian that was now leaning back against their desks, his boot clad ankles crossed in front of his and his arms crossed over his chest. Her mouth hung open as she slowly put her toothbrush back into her mouth and looked up his form very slowly.   
                She’d never seen a turian dressed like he was. A dark grey button up shirt that was open slightly showing off the top of a black tank. A pair of turian jeans, species appropriate combat boots. He even had on a set of leather shoulder holster with two impressive guns in them. His skin was a soft taupe color, with plates that were just a little more on the grey side. However, she felt herself stiffening as she looked at his eyes. The most intense shade of blue she’d ever seen, cerulean in color. IT was nicely offset by the tangerine colored markings on his face.

                “Ahh, Oberon! I see you’ve met your new partner.” Said the captain of the 8th precinct. “This is Caevius Tolani, Tolani, Meet your partner. Lita Oberon.” Said the human male with deep toned skin and bright brown eyes.   
                “Partner?! But, Alleck!” he gaped at him before she gripped the arm of her captain roughly and yanked him back. “No one informed me that you were suddenly sticking me with a scrub!”   
                The Turian rose a brow plate at her before he spoke, his hands coming to grip the edge of the desk at his hips. “Scrub? I would like to inform you now Detective Oberon that I am a turian with ten years of experience in homicide.” He huffed before giving her a smirk, “As if they would give anyone to you who is a newbie. Or did you not even bother to read any of the files?” he asked before standing. He easily towered over everyone else in the room.   
                Lita internally punched herself, her mouth had just run off on itself like it did so often. She let go of her captain and then coughed into her hand before running a hand through her hair, only to make a face of horror when she found a wad of gum in it.   
                To her surprise however… the turian only gave her a sympathetic look, “How about we start over?” he asked as he stood and then walked up to her, offering her his hand. “I’m Caevius Tolani, however I’d prefer if it you just called me Cae.” He chirruped at her.   
                “I’m Lita Oberon… Lita is fine.” She said while she shook his hand with her free one, her mind already going to how to best remove the gum from her hair. The Captain only sighed and hid his face in his hand before dismissing himself and heading back the way he had been going when he saw Lita walk into the precinct.   
  
                “How about I help with that?” asked the Turian male before he walked up to his new partner and then looked at her hair. “I think we’re going to need peanut butter…”   
                “You know what Peanut butter is?” she asked, astounded, she was under the impressions turians only ate dextro food.   
                He clicked at her, amused, “Well yeah, toasted peanut butter and strawberry jams are a human delicacy that I open indulge in. I’m lucky I have no sensitivities to Levo amino acids at all.” He chuckled before pulling back slightly and looking down at her, “Sorry.”  
                “For what?”   
                “This…” he laughed nervously before his talon sliced through her hair and severed out the chunk of gun and matted hair.   
                She held her severed hair in both hands after he dropped it into her palms before her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “WHAT HAPPENED TO PEANUT BUTTER?!”   
                “It would be a travesty to waste it on that much gum…” he offered, before he shrunk back a little, he hadn’t though that humans, with their ever-growing fringe, would care of he removed the nuisance.  
                Lita however quickly began to dig in the massive bag on her shoulder, shoving various items into the turian’s hands while she found a mirror. Upon inspection she found that it wasn’t TOO bad… the way he had just eviscerated her hair. She didn’t even notice as he set the stuff she had shoved into his arms onto his desk before he picked up a paper wrapped tube and looked at it.   
                Curiously the turian opened it and looked at the plastic tube filled with cotton and a string coming out the back. “Curious…” he hummed as he began to take it apart. “Humans have such fascinating curiosities in their possessions.”   
                “We have what now?” she asked before she screeched and slapped the tampon from his hand, quickly catching it and shoving it back into her purse. “I’m going to regret this!” she wailed to herself as she flopped back into her chair.   
                Cae looked at her before he chuffed humorously at her, “I don’t know, I think we could end up being pretty good friends… especially if you have more strange things in your bag there.”   
                Lita merely groaned before she hid her face in her hands and refused to look at him, he only continued to laugh at her reactions as he spun around in his new wheeled chair.          


	2. Chapter 2

                The scent of rot filled the nostrils of the turian as he stood in front of an art exhibit.  “Erm… Alita?” he flanged at his wife who walked up. The Asari came over and looked around the arm of the turian before looking back up to the installment.   
               “Isn’t this supposed to be a non-organic sculpture?” she asked before looking at her husband. “Tyros?”   
                “I’m fairly sure that’s a rotting corpse Alita…” he coughed before waving down the Krogan guard who instantly reeled his head back.   
                “How could anyone miss this stench? Humans have such weak noses!” he boomed before listing his omni-tool and calling in the discovery.

 

\--1 hr later—

 

“Oh my god!” gagged Lita as she walked onto the crime scene. Her hair pulled into a messy lopsided ponytail and wearing a very large shirt over her usual dirty baggy pants and worn out hiking boots. Her massive bag on her shoulder as per usual with her hoodie hanging out of it. “I can’t believe anyone would ever call this art, or that it took someone forever to actually notice this.”   
                “Well, Humans don’t tend to have the same strength of smell as Turians, Krogans, or Salarians…” chimed Caevius as he walked onto the scene in his normal form of attire, saved for now sporting a leather jacket with a soft cotton turian shaped hood and a helmet under his arm. “Honestly though, it’s interesting that anyone went to the effort to hide the scent…”   
                A Salarian looked up from where the body was now being placed into the body bag. “You could say that the second artist was attempting to create ‘killer art’.” He then stood and stared at the two detectives. Lita was giving him a blank stare whilst Caevius was doing his best not to grimace.   
                “Too soon?”  
                “Extremely…” flanged Caevius before he walked over to the installment and looked it up and over. “So where are the people who noticed?” he asked.   
                The Salarian looked up from his datapad and then nodded over to the Turian and his Asari wife, both of them still talking to a Krogan officer who was taking their statement. Caevius stepped over the body with his long legs, only to stop when Lita tried to jump over the large human and ended up tripping.   
                With lightning speed, the turian detective caught the woman, “Watch it Lita.” He charmed as he held her waist with his left arm and her hand in his right. “Can’t have you contaminating evidence with a stumble.”   
                Lita had been slightly blushing before he had said that last bit, now she was yanking her hand free and shoving his face away. “Oh, shut it, you may be able to charm all the secretaries and new recruits, but you’re not getting through me.” She huffed before stomping her way over to the witnesses.   
                Cae straightened before chuckling to himself. He knew she liked him, they’d been partners for a week now and he had spent all his working hours next to her. He found that the two of them easily found a rhythm. Not to mention she needed someone to help with the more… difficult things.   
                He’d learned that Lita was recently divorced, the mother of two young girls, and that she was Older than him by a good five years. Not that he was complaining, he found that having a partner than was easy on the eyes led him to be more attentive. He had a slight bought of ADD and would easily get distracted. The fact that Lita was nice too look at his in opinion made it much easier to pay attention to her.

  
                Just his first day after meeting her he’d raced her on the back of his motorcycle to her seven-year old’s school. Apparently having forgotten about a parent teacher conference. He’d parked the bike before racing to follow her inside… where he met her mate…  
                Or Ex-mate… Humans didn’t mate for life it seemed; or not the way turians did anyways. Caevius immediately decided he didn’t like him. Especially the way that Lita seemed to go from high-strung to nearly nuclear.   
                The two argued, the male saying that he was far too busy to be bothered with something like this and that she was irresponsible. To which Caevius began to growl deep in his chest. Hours with the woman and he could already tell that she was a good mother, on her worst days. James, the ex, looked up at him.   
                “And who is this?”   
                “My new Partner, it doesn’t concern you. WHY the hell do you not think that you have any part of this? She’s your child!”   
                “We’re Divorced Lita, your request, remember?”                
                “You cheated on me! Even while I was pregnant with Emma! I don’t think you were ever faithful to me for the twenty years we were together!”   
                “He WHAT?!” snarled Caevius.   
                Lita jumped when the turian gave his outburst. “Calm down Cae.”  
                The turian, probably overstepping his boundaries… but he didn’t care, “You had children with a woman and didn’t even stay faithful to her? You mated with Lita and couldn’t even have the common decency to stay faithful for your daughter?!” he snipped, “If you were a turian you’d be shunned from everyone! Such a dishonorable, scumbag move! She had your children!”   
                “Listen, This is none of your business E.T.”   
                Lita face plamed before her hand stretched out and kept Caevius from taking a step towards the male. He was already looming over him. “Whatever it may be in Turian culture Cae, we’re human, and humans do this kind of thing kind of often.”   
                The turian huffed, “Doesn’t make it okay, and maybe he should just leave, obviously he’s not deserving enough to be involved with your family. Lawyer or not.”   
                Lita sighed heavily, “Listen, I have to go in to speak to Anna’s teacher. I’m here now James so you can just go.”   
                “Fine by me, I don’t have time to deal with such trivial things anyways.” Said the male as he straightened his coat and merely glared as the Turian returned his glare and growled.   
                “You’re late on your child support to!” she called after him.   
                James didn’t even look at her as he strode off, “You have a job Lita, take care of our brats yourself!”   
                Caevius had to start counting as he began to stalk in a pacing motion. “I can’t believe that you were mated with that guy! He won’t even pay for the wellbeing of your daughters?!” he snarled. However he took a deep breath and began to calm himself before flopping back against the brightly painted wall and sat on the floor. “Go into your meeting, I’ll wait here…”   
                “Cae you can just go home, I can’t take Anna home on your bike anyways.” She sighed, hiding the fact that Caevius was so worked up over her ex being an ass actually made her feel endeared to him.   
                Cae looked up at her, “I’ll stay till you can call a cab then…” he then pulled up his Omni-tool and began to read something, closing the debate for him to stay.   
                Lita of course merely sighed before she smiled at him gently, “Okay, well… Thank you…” she said softly before turning to go into the classroom.

Since then, the two of them easily bantered. He figured she’d warmed up to him because he was blatantly vocal about her needing good support… and the fact that he’d enchanted both her daughters. Seeing her home that night had led to him meeting the both of them, and he’d left with pink nail-polish on his talons and a tiara on his head made from paper and glitter.   
  
                Talk about a first day as partners…

 

He was happy that everything had turned out like I had though. Even now while he watched her calm down the shaken Asari and then send her and the turian mate on their way.   
                The Turian however stopped as he passed Caevius however. “Not bad taste…” he rumbled softly. Caevius hadn’t even noticed that his subharmonics were singing her praises. However, he instantly stiffened and silenced himself while gaping at the turian. The other male of his species gave him a knowing smile before he caught up to his wife and they walked out of the Gallery together.   
                His attention then snapped back to his partner as he heard her mumbling to herself.

“Okay so obviously this body was staged up… someone wanted him to be found…” she muttered as she circled the entire crime scene. Her teeth chewing on her thumb nail as she stared at the set up displaying the found evidence.   
                Cae walked up, “Looks like the murderer is someone who wants his stunt public… Have we checked the security cameras? Probably should follow up with the artist himself?” asked the male as he crossed his arms and then looked at another human cop, “Get me the surveillance tapes.” He ordered before he looked at Lita and met her gaze. “Go to the artist?”   
                “I am not riding on the back of that thing again…” she said wearily before Caevius clicked at her and leaned down, smirking. “Cae… no…”  
                “Do you have another way of transportation?”   
                “We can take a cab.”  
                “OR… we can just ride my bike and save some credits.”  
                “Take a squad car?”  
                “Where’s the fun in that?”  
                “I don’t have a helmet?”  
                Caevius merely grinned at her, “See, you being my partner, and the fact I value your wellbeing… I got you one.”   
                Lita groaned before looking up to the ceiling, “Why? Why are you so prepared?”   
                “You like it.” He clicked before striding out the doors, only to hold the ornate glass open for her. “Well Lita? Shall we go do our job?”

 

                She was gonna end up shooting him one day…  
                … if she could find her gun in her purse before he could run away…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying... TT^TT


End file.
